A Band By Any Other Name (ALBUM)

by Happy As You Like

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1.
They say that there’s one born each minute. That’s sixty born every hour. Over fourteen hundred born daily. Half a million every year. And it’s no wonder that we struggle so much. It’s no wonder the things that we do. What with all of these idiots born all the time. Fools like me and you. Somethings you wish you had never seen. Somethings you shouldn’t have heard. All of those things that you needn’t have said. That’s the way of this world. They say there’s no such thing as coincidence. They say that you make luck your own. They say that nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so. So it’s no wonder how we struggle so much. It’s no wonder, those things that we do. What with all of these idiots born all the time to the likes of me and you. We leave nothing behind us but memories and memories shimmer and fade. Meaning gets lost, plans turn to dust, people and truths get mislaid. Little wonder then that we struggle so much. Little wonders, the things that we do. It’s no wonder we wonder what it’s all about. Fools like me and you. They say that there’s one born every minute.
2.
Resolve 03:54
Just a penny in my pocket, don’t know how to spend it. Might as well just end it here. I keep holding on to all those things that I most fear but then the sun comes up and we dissolve to tears and we resolve to change but just like every year we don’t change at all, it all just stays the same. What goes around comes round as we revolve again. No point in changing who we are. No point in pushing it too far. No point in saying what’s not true. No point in being anyone but you. No point in changing points of view if you can’t see what’s in front of you there’s no point in pointing fingers. when the sun comes up we dissolve to tears and we resolve to change but just like every year we don’t change at all, it all just stays the same. What goes around comes round as we revolve again. Got a letter in my pocket, don’t know where to send it. Might as well just end it here. I keep holding on to all those things that I most fear but then the sun comes up and we dissolve to tears and we resolve to change but just like every year we don’t change at all, it all just stays the same. What goes around comes round as we revolve again. Got a heart in my pocket, don’t know how to mend it. Might as well just end it here.
3.
Unicycle Boy 02:11
Unicycle boy - they all laughed at you. As the wheel turned they all wanted one too. Your parents knew it was a risk to buy you such a strange and unexpected gift. Unicycle boy - balanced but unsure. Impressive in your skill that leaves them wanting more. Hoping that you fail, hoping that you fall, misjudging from the start - admiring after all. It was always gonna be hard. It was always gonna be hard but they underestimated what you could do. They underestimated what you could, what you’d become - and who. Unicycle boy - they all laughed at you as the wheel turned round.
4.
It keeps learning till it rots. It keeps pounding till it stops. One way in, one way out. Nothing much that you can do about it. You’re walking around with that long look on your face. It’s a short life - you want to keep picking up pace. I’ve had it with you. I’ve had it with you. You used to walk around with that boy. You used to hold him in your hand. Now look at you - you just don’t care. Now look at you - you don’t give a damn. I’ve had it with you. I’ve had it with you. Stewed juices, water to wine. Wine into acid, acid to brine. Pouts to punches, whispers to shouts. Nothing to say - spell it out: y.o.u.a.r.e.f.u.c.k.e.d. And I’ve had it with you. Do you feel it - my heart? Do you feel it - my heart? Hands tied - minds free. Mouths closed - ears bleed. Eye’s shut - let’s see. I’ve had it with you. Can you feel my heart? Can you feel my heart? Can you fill my heart? Can you fill my heart? Can you heal my heart? Can you hear my heart? Can you hear my head? Written lists,clear as mud. Slitten wrists, soil and blood. Knife to the throat, cut to the quick. Cut to the chase, get to the nub of it. I’ve had it with you. I’ve hand it with you. Can you feel my heart? Can you fill my heart? Can you heal my heart? Can you hear my head? It keeps learning till it rots. It keeps pounding till it stops. One way in, one way out. Nothing much that you can do about it.
5.
You can see that boy’s been crying - he’s taken a tumble or two. He felt his heart could sing but you had it on a string all along. Strung along - connected to you. He couldn’t believe his luck - now he can’t believe what’s true. You read him like a book - turned his pages all the way through from the start. The story of his heart’s connected to you. And it’s hard to see. Cause it’s hard to be in love with someone who doesn’t want to be in love with you. What can you do? Love can bend and break your heart, it can twist your mind, it can make you start to question everything as you fall apart, wondering what it meant, wondering how to stop. Love can heal your wounds but it can leave you scars, love can bring you close or it can take you far away from those you must have loved before. The ones you trusted. The ones who you loved more. Things don’t always go to plan - surprises come thick and span a lifetime of highs and woes, wrong and rhyme, friends and foes. No one knows what for but he’s forever more connected to you. And it’s hard to see. Cause it’s hard to be in love with someone who doesn’t want to be in love with you. What can you do?
6.
Now We Know 03:57
You stole my password so now you know all those things I wasn’t going to tell you. You found my passwords and had to go and look on my computer - I bet you wish you hadn’t. I bet you wish you didn’t know all those things that you really weren’t meant to know. I bet you wish you hadn’t seen all those things that really weren’t meant for show. You found my passport so now you know I didn’t really go to all of those places. My diaries confirmed it so I guess there’s no point in making my excuses. But I bet you wish you hadn’t looked through all my things. I bet you wish you hadn’t opened all those drawers. I bet you wish you hadn’t seen anything at all. But you could stop and wonder why it don’t mean a thing. It don’t mean a thing at all. You could stop and tell a lie cause it don’t mean a thing. It don’t mean a thing at all. I bet you never thought that it would be like this. I bet you wish you’d left things where they were. I bet you wish you’d left things lying there. I bet you wish you hadn’t had to lie at all. But you could stop and wonder why it don’t mean a thing. It don’t mean a thing at all. You could stop and realise that it don’t mean a thing. It don’t mean a thing at all. I bet you never thought that it could be like this. I bet you never thought that it would be like this. I bet you never thought that we would lie like this. I bet you never thought that we could be like this.
7.
By an unexpected turn of events we arrive at this. Two lonely people in a car park and some radio hiss with the credits rolling, faces slow dissolving, mist. You can hear a pin drop - landing on dewy ground. Only subtitled thoughts now can disturbed this sound. In another world things might be the same. Another chance might just come your way. You never know what’s round the corner, things could get better or maybe you should know better. In the dark we sit, the screen unlit, the curtains drawn. There might be words to say, it’s hard to tell, they stay unknown. There are people leaving - soon we’ll be the last ones. Hear the pins drop, feel the thoughts go round. One way or another we have to sort this out. In another world things might be the same. Another chance might just come our way. You never know, things might get better. We could be with each other or maybe without each other. So in the dark we sit, the curtains drawn, we’re home again. There is so much to say but we don’t have words to explain. In another world things might stay the same. Another go - maybe things could change. You never know, this could be the worst time or maybe just a lost cause time or maybe we could just pause time. By an unexpected turn of events we have come to this.
8.
If she might exist then romance isn’t dead and can’t be dismissed, you wouldn’t want to miss kissing that girl. Two halves become none with an others’ guilt and a hole in one. Alone at home, texting a phone isn’t kissing that girl. Spring is in your step but It’s the coldest day of the year yet. Snow melts away your sun but you have to take your chances when they come. Younger now than old, feeling like your soul’s been sold, you wouldn’t want to miss kissing that girl. And history hides its scars through thicker skin and hardened hearts but you wouldn’t want to miss kissing that girl. Clouds may hide your moon and all your stars burn out too soon but mornings always shine - so don’t leave her another sad valentine. Reticence is understandable - memories can be hard to handle sometimes but you’ve got to find a way. No time for wheres and whys. There’s no time to realise time just flies away - time’s not here to stay and if she might exist then romance isn’t dead and can’t be dismissed and you wouldn’t want to miss kissing that girl.
9.
December 03:59
I’m gonna stay sober this December so when it’s over I can remember and don’t have to regret what I can’t forget like every other year. I’m gonna be on my best behaviour. I’m gonna do us all a favour and stay out of the way, watch what I say. Hey - I’m trying to allay your fears by telling you I’ll do the best I can. I can’t promise but I’ll do the best I can. I’ll try my best not to be me - till January. No doubt I’ll get it wrong but I’ll put it right. If I need to I’ll apologise. I’ll work hard to keep things light. I won’t go dark on you at night and in the morning I’ll be nice, bring you tea and toast. Alright - let’s skip the last bit. Be realistic. It’s been a wet November. Too much crying, too much lying, not much tenderness. And there’s only so many tears when more means less and everybody’s mess rises to the top. It’s anybody’s guess when it’s gonna stop so I guess it’s best that it never starts and a little tact and a little heart can go a long way at this time of year. I’m gonna do the best I can. I can’t promise but I’ll do the best I can. I’ll try my best not to be me.
10.
Chance 02:51
Never bought a lottery ticket in my life - till today. Never owned a premium bond or placed a bet either way I say It’s not something that I usually do but I might. It’s not something that I usually do but I might today. I’m not someone who believes much in fate. I don’t give credence to romance. But I thought that you and me at least had a chance. I’ve never been one to put things off or to stall. I’m more likely not to do things at all and say It’s not something that I usually do but I might. It’s not something that I usually do but I might today. Everything with the world was just fine as far as I could tell but then you went and you changed your mind and I did as well. It’s not something that I usually do but I have. It’s not something that I usually do but I have this time.
11.
Just thinking of killing myself - thought I’d say it straight. I can’t wait to get to Heaven - or maybe Hell will suit me just as well. Just thinking of killing myself - so I thought I’d put it in a song so no one can tell me that they didn’t have a clue - didn’t know what to do. Please don’t see me as someone else - I’m just thinking of killing myself. Just thinking of killing myself but please don’t think it’s an easy way out. More of an insurance plan to get me out of here the quickest way I can. You see, I’d rather be somewhere else - just thinking of killing myself. People don’t like to talk of the dark side. They lie and say it’s something we should all deny. A narcissistic death-wish of which no one should speak. Indulgent selfishness for the morally weak. But I’m just thinking of killing myself - I’m told it’s important for my health to be able to talk about things with family and friends, they’re what matter in the end. Maybe if we bend our ears, step away from all that fear, say it loud and clear - tomorrow’s just another day but it won’t always be here. So don’t deceive you can always please yourself. If not for someone you might be someone else. Please don’t believe me - this is not a cry for help. I’m just thinking of killing myself.
12.
Wait till the morning comes. Wait for the morning sun. Turn it into daylight. Mean times - no response. Calls signs - silence. It’s not rocket science. Message received loud and clear. It’s hard to see a way back from here. But wait till the night time. Wait for the stars to shine. Turn on the moonlight.
13.
Never to be outclassed, dig deep the enthusiast. Recycling furious and fast, templates trashed and slashed, expenditure unabashed, hits outlast the splash of cash and it’s all passed for radio broadcast. But what can you do if for you it don’t come true? What can you do if for you it don’t come true? Trying to find the means to make amends, find the words to end all ends. What can you do? Making a strange forecast, denying all contrasts, capturing the hard to grasp in the face of the aghast. Smashed, thrashed, avoiding the crash and it’s all passed for radio broadcast. But what can you do if for you it don’t ring true? What can you do if for you it don’t ring true? Trying to find the means to make amends, find the words to end all ends. What can you do? Turning down the volume on the bedside radio. Tuning into stations that your friends don’t even know. Finding the obscure and then making it your own hoping one day it could be you. History is here to last, influence and plunder vast. Licks and riffs crudely amassed, originals unsurpassed. Rehashed, recast blasts from the past. It’s all passed for radio broadcast. What can you do if it doesn’t come true for you?
14.
Meantime 03:55
Evening falls - the sun goes down. I head on out to find myself on the other side of town. Though I try not to think of you you’re here again, it’s always the same at this time of year. I do believe the ghost of you is haunting me. I cannot prove you don’t exist - that is all I need. I can see empty spaces calling me, I feel they are you and this is real. I know there’s only so many bridges burned. Only so many chances you can spurn. Only so many lessons you can learn and I’ve learned to live without you. Time returns and waters down. Clocks reset - meantime, we almost drown. It holds no fear for one so steeped in shame and sham, flimflam. No looking back, no forward plan. Maybe one day I will find I have found words that can be heard again - vision for that sound. If I only had one wish to come true I’d wish I hadn’t lost you.
15.
Time to keep it shut, time to zip it, Put the cat back in the bag, drown the kittens that it had. Words seldom listened to, never heard. Kill your darlings one more little murder. Serve your sentence and in time feel how sometimes time doesn’t heal. Dirty washing on display, hung out to dry, a lovely day to air your grievances, further distances with words often meaning less and misheard. Kill your darlings one more little murder. Serve your sentence, do your time and feel how time sometimes doesn’t heal. Drinking in the gloom. The last chance saloon. Questions to be asked lie at the bottom of each glass words seldom truly spoken, always slurred. Kill your darlings one more little murder. Serve your sentence, steal your time and feel. Sometimes time does not heal.
16.
She’s not your average girl. For a start she’ll tie you up within a pigtail of angry words some of which you’ve never heard before. She’s not a middling girl. She’ll tell the truth through lies and hide behind your back with eyes that somehow recognise that more means less when you second guess. She’ll break some fools’ hearts and she’s started with mine. She’s going to do some damage but says all will be fine you’ll see. She’s not your usual girl. Her options change and rearrange yet stay the same and when you call her out, she doesn’t shout she smiles. Such a confusing girl. You think you’ve got it sussed but then she rushes through the door and though she’s crying she’s laughing at it all. Somehow you feel small. She’ll break some fools’ hearts and she’s started with mine. She’s going to do some damage but says all will be fine in time - you’ll see. She’ll freeze you out on the warmest day then melt your heart with the words she says. She’ll bring you dreams then take them away and you won’t know how. She’s a funny girl. Her jokes spill out and hit the floor and then bounce back as nothing more than feeling for the truth when she’s unsure. Such a cunning girl. She’ll outfox thinking outside the box to find herself when she is just lost in a mixed up world – like most of us. She’ll break some fools’ hearts and she’s started with mine. She’s going to do some damage but says all will be fine you’ll see – in time.
17.
June's Song 02:09
This is a doom song. Full of gloom song. Nothing we can do ‘cause we’ve done it all before. We can’t go on song. Where did it go wrong song. I knew it all along song. This is a doom song. Written in June song. Written for you with summer in the air. A now we’re in despair song. Couldn’t really care song. I wonder where song. Yes, this is a doomed song. Lying in dark rooms song. Howling at the moon and crying for the sun. Standing in the rain song. Missing the last train song. Nowhere to place the blame song. This is not a happy day song. It’s a making way song. It’s a going grey song as you’re pulling out your hair. No need to say song. Played this game too long. Words are far too late. I’ll say them anyway. I’m sorry too.
18.
I wish you could sing like Tracey Thorn with a voice so beautifully forlorn. Her picture’s up on your wall, her words answer all your calls. You disappear with her without a care and I’m left here careworn wishing you could sing like Tracey Thorn. She’s everything but that girl. You play guitar and you fill your world with love and laughter and happy-ever-after stories but she doesn’t even know you’re born, my heart is being torn. How I wish you could sing like Tracey Thorn. You could be her marine girl, her bedsit disco queen girl but she’ll stay just your dream love, you could never sing like she does. You could even change your name to hers but you’d still be the same girl because you could never sing like Tracey Thorn.
19.
Wasp 03:19
Silence is a weapon, ignorance is bliss, you pull all your punches, you’re all hit and miss. You’re all hit and miss. Yes you’re all hit and miss. you pull all your punches, you’re all hit and miss and I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. No I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. Never mind the time of day I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. Refusing to talk, retreating into silence in it’s own way is a form of violence. A form of violence . Yes it’s a form of violence. Silence can be a form of violence and I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. No I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. Never mind the time of day I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. Inactive isn’t passive, doing nothing’s no excuse. Always blaming something, always lying about the truth. You’re always lying about the truth. Yes you’re always lying about the truth. You’re always blaming something and you’re always lying about the truth and I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. No I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. Never mind the time of day I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. Your gun is primed, the knives are out, you’re ready for attack. You steal them blind, shoot from behind then stab them in the back. No need to read the riot act. No need for pleas and facts. You mumble through, smiling as you do and everybody laughs on cue but I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. No I wouldn’t even give you a wasp. No matter what you say, no matter what the cost, no matter what I pay, however big your cross, whatever time of day, whatever time you’ve lost, I wouldn’t give you a wasp.
20.
As we get older sounds immature like we’re trying to deny who we are. Between now and then a thousand once agains. Hour by hour, day by day, month by month, years and decades. Not good or bad but all we ever had. My love is getting colder. My love just walked out the door. My love is bored to tears. Maybe we should start smoking again. Plug the hard drugs with easy disdain. Drink to excess, turn our neat lives back into mess. When all’s said and done do you lie or confess? When all’s said and done is there more or less? When all’s said and done what is there left behind you? When we were young sounds premature When you think back we always were. There’s no time like the present to reinvent the past as old jokes trickle down to last laughs.
21.
You say time marches on, moving forward, always gone, summer’s short, shadows long, holding on to the ticking bomb. You say there are no plans, just wishful thinking and dreams and hopes and circumstance, winners, losers, also-rans and I don’t want to love you. I don’t want to love you. Everything you say may be true But I don’t want to love you. You say we’re all afloat, the same sea, different boats. No answers in the sky, no one to blame and I don’t want to love you. I don’t want to love you. If honesty is true, lies won’t see you through and l don’t want to love you. Words misconstrued, feelings feeling wrong. I’ve been saying the same thing to you all along, I don’t want to love you. I don’t want to love you. No matter how it falls, how many times you call me I don’t want to love you.
22.
Driver 03:48
Living just below the line in the space between sun and shine. Breathing deep on unseen air somewhere between here and there. Interrupted thoughts slide down into abstract distractions. Slowing down to speed things up, opening doors that can’t be shut. Taking stock to only find clocks and watches slowly unwinding. Sleep deprived dreams come alive. It takes time to see when you don’t believe your eyes let’s drive a while. Midday closing, afternoon dozing, waking up when you should be asleep. Back to front and inside out, upside down and all around there’s doubt. When you’re making plans on shifting sands the roads are wide and the distance hides just how long you’ve got to go on driving. Been a driver all my life. Let’s drive a while. Been a driver all my life. Let’s drive a while. Been a driver all my life.

about

I live in the undergrowth and follow my nose.
These recordings were made 2018 - 2020

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released November 2, 2020

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Happy As You Like UK

flying solo - no parachute - one spoonful of The Happy Somethings' stew

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